Stop Asking “Why” to Start Getting Better Answers

If you want to dive deeper to understand something or uncover the reasons behind it, your go-to question might often be  “WHY?” Questions like:

Why is there a delay?  Why is our new policy initiative not working?

Why did you choose that? Or …..Why do you need the proposal by tomorrow?

Basically, start with WHY. A Simon Sinek classic.

However, as a coach, a “WHY” question is often a red flag. This is because it tends to come across as demanding, provocative, and confrontational often triggering a defensive response. Think about it: many of us associate the word “WHY” with moments of childhood questioning such as “Why did you do that?”

Here are a few better alternatives or “power questions”

Instead of “Why the delay?” try: “What factors contributed to the delay?”

Instead of “Why did you choose that?” try: “What made this option stand out for you?”

Instead of “Why do you need the proposal tomorrow?” try: “What’s driving the urgency for tomorrow?” or “How will having the proposal tomorrow help?”

What do you notice? By replacing “WHY” with “WHAT” or “HOW,” you can shift the tone of your questions. Use “WHAT” for a more specific inquiry and “HOW” for a broader exploration.

So, the next time you catch yourself asking “WHY,” take a moment to reflect. What was the response you got? Would a “WHAT” or “HOW” have been more powerful?